Sharks,
If you have been working in the advertising industry for a significant amount of time, you probably know a lot of them.
You might call them in many different ways: sharks, vampires, bloodsuckers or simply bastards.
All of these creatures above mentioned have one thing in common: they pretend to be fine and take care of you or at least mind their own business until you don’t find them stuck on to your throat and sucking the blood out of you or chewing your leg.
To unaware swimmers, sharks might seem a bigger version of dolphins, but they are not. If you know them you also know you have to keep them at large.
Too bad it is not so easy to do this with advertising sharks.
They pretend better, they disguise better, they hide much better behind the mask of the good guy.
But at GT we really care about your safety, that’s why right after warning you about digital zombies, and having given you advices on how to spot them and get rid of them, we want you to enjoy your swimming session in this industry knowing how to identify a shark and keep him at large.
Before proceeding with the instructions, keep in mind that those creatures are very talented in lying and over promising.
They will do their best to make you believe they are not what they really are.
So to really spot a shark you will have to be very much honest to yourself and understand whether you want to be a prey or save your life.
1) ADVERTISING SHARKS SMILE A LOT
Forget the rude boss/colleague. The one who always treats you bad and is deliberately trying to stab your back. Advertising sharks are silent. But lethal.
They smile, they show their bright, pearly and hypnotizing teeth and possibly tell you that you are very talented. They will make you feel special and helpful.
They will tell you many and many times that the agency would not be the same without you. They will do all of this as long as they need you for any reason: because you are talented, cheap or because you are willing to work late, wash their car or drive their kids home from school.
Don’t be fooled by their smiles. The moment will come when when you will see those teeth way to close. And it will be too late.
2) ADVERTISING SHARKS CRY A LOT
Yes. They might be smiling and happy when it’s about (you) working late and during the weekends. But they tend to get kinda sad when it comes to your salary.
“It’s a bad moment.” “You are lucky that you still have a job” they will tell you right before hopping on their brand new porsche to go off to their cottage at the sea.
And making you feel lucky and sorry for asking.
3) SHARKS ARE NEVER ALONE
Unlike their marine relatives, sharks are never alone. They tend to surround themselves with other bigger or smaller fishes.
But the shark will be always the one that’s leading the pack.
Companion fishes will only chew its leftovers.
But they are very dangerous though, and you’d better not underestimate them.
To praise the dominant shark and make sure not to be eaten, those little monsters will do whatever required.
They will lie, deceive and tell him/her whatever you do or say that they think could be a threat to the shark kingdom.
Identifying companion fishes is not easy at all.
They survived because they are smart and good at pretending.
So keep your eyes open and your mouth shut until you haven’t found them and isolated them out of your office social sphere.
4) ADVERTISING SHARKS NEVER DIE
Remember the movie “jaws”, don’t you?
Those damned sharks never ever die.
For how hard you can try to make war at them, you will lose, unless you are good enough to place a bomb right into their mouth.
But this is something we strongly encourage you not to do.
Violence is not the solution. The solution is to swim away.
So if you just thought you could confront your advertising shark and getting him/her to understand you, desist.
Sharks are stupid after all. They only have big jaws and restless will.
If you want to stay alive you can only keep them at large.
If you don’t they will eat you. Or worse turn you into a companion fish.
FINAL CONCLUSIONS
The sea is vast. If you happen to see a shark keep at large.
There is absolutely NO WAY you can deal with it.
In the beginning you might think it is a great opportunity.
You might believe that you are a shark too and the two of you can swim the seven seas to look for hidden treasures.
Trust your good old GT fellows. You are not.
You are meat. And sharks love meat.
So take your meat elsewhere and you will have the chance not to fail.